Any better 12 months on ... ?

I've been taking a break from Poker again and thinking about what I was doing differently from this time last year (and have I progressed?) ...

This time last year;

1) I was excited to be part of APAT and to be playing against guys I considered to be a class well above me in their Online Events and Live once a month in the APAT Regionals

2) I didn't have 'poker pals' like Derek, Joe, Jim etc. - guys who help me over-analyse hands and plays and listen to my success and bad-beat stories

3) I was enthusiastic about learning about NLHE knowing that I still had soooo much to learn

4 i) I was playing $0.25/$0.50 cash games on iPoker (overplaying and losing big pots with small hands mostly). I had taken a couple of shots at 50c/$1, had some short term success but ultimately failed and stepped back down shortly afterwards somewhat scared to go back

4 ii) I was playing $10 SnGs, STTs and MTTs on iPoker (with limited success)

5) The currency exchange rate was almost $2 : £1

6) I was depositing regularly with no concern for bankroll management. I could afford to dep around £30 once a month and have fun with it before the inevitable reload the next month

7) I wasn't as busy with work / life and it was fairly easy to find 2 or 3 hours at night to play to play for fun - no expectations, just high hopes of a modest return.

8) I had very little experience of Live Tournament Poker

Although I've recorded some very decent results and cashes since and feel I'm a better and more knowledgable player through my friendships with Derek, Joe etc., through being more involved in APAT and RTR, through reading strategy articles in PP / IP mags, 2+2 etc., from having played at higher levels Live in Edinburgh, Paris & Dublin and online as part of our deals / syndicates, I know I still have a long way to go - almost an unsurmountable way to go - if I'm to make it 'worthwhile'. By worthwhile, I mean to consistently grind up a bankroll from any future deposits, to study my past results closely enough to find a game and limit I feel most comfortable playing remembering that I should be playing in the hope that I can step up and back down when I need to. First off, I need to find the enthusiasm and the 'correct' mindset to make it an enjoyable hobby - the way I was enjoying my times at the tables on Oct 07. It's not going to be easy considering that I know, having written this, that I may not have realistically made any progress as a player over the past year as I haven't been able to grind the paltry deposits into a reasonable bankroll.

I know myself that I'm just not at 'that place' just now but it's with help from the exchange rate and with it being as poor as it is, that I'm able to refrain from re-depositing into my poker accounts. Online Poker and especially 'Losing Online Poker' has become so much more expensive recently.

I don't mean to bring anyone's mindset down to my level and this is far from a moan - more me just facing up to a bit of reality.

GL at the tables.